Of Wagging Tails and Tongues

By Anonymous

It was one of those busy days with matters in both the Family Court and the High Court. Luckily it was a Section 13B divorce and I had requested a friend/colleague to coordinate with the opposite counsel Mr. K, oversee the hearing and intimate me if my presence is necessary. I heard from this friend some time through the day that the opposite counsel was being unnecessarily difficult to deal with. 

Nyaaya Degula, Bengaluru

At the end of a hectic day of court work and meetings, I received a call from the opposite counsel Mr. K. I greeted him with a pleasant hello. But he was in no mood to exchange any pleasantries. ‘Where were you today?’ he gruffly demanded, ‘Why didn’t you attend court?’ This was a counsel I had witnessed being extremely disrespectful at several instances towards me, my client, as well as his client, during online mediation. Still, taken aback, I managed to fumble a – ‘I had another hearing, sir. You said you would manage today – I had sent a colleague just in case…’ He persisted rudely – ‘Why didn’t you come, hmm? Tell me!’ 

Driven up the wall, I finally retorted – ‘I heard you were being uncooperative in the Court as well. You are not the Court, sir. I will answer the Court if it comes to it.’ Then came the most unexpected and discourteous reply ever – ‘You have the audacity to speak to me like that! You are not even half as qualified as me! Don’t wag your tail in front of me, okay!’ 

I was stunned. I have heard stories from so many women advocates who were victims of ‘casual’ sexism. Wading through the same swamp, I have always empathised with them. Remarks like what our pretty faces are doing in the Court or that we secured interim orders because of our sex are commonplace. But that day, I felt severely violated. And vulnerable. And abused. What Mr. K committed was abuse. 

Thoughts whizzed through my mind – Is this normal behaviour; Is this how male advocates deal with (women) colleagues? Who is being rude to whom? Why should I not have the ‘audacity’ to retort if being verbally abused? Is he really more qualified than me? Does that even matter? Why did I not record the call? Should I report this to the Bar Council? Will that affect my client’s case?

Does the sari under my neckband provide a license to be unprofessional, patronising, imposing, or condescending?